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She and Gela have managed a few knitting lessons, here and there, though both of them are busy enough that meeting regularly has been somewhat haphazard. Today, though, she has her (metaphorical) Division Head hat on when she goes to track Gela down. Her demeanor isn't stern, or even worried, but the subject on her mind is a bit heavier than how to purl through the back loop.
She tries a few of Gela's usual haunts, in no rush. (She could always use the sending crystal if it was time-sensitive.) Given the autumn weather, Cosima may even be keeping her fingers crossed to find Gela outdoors where they can talk in the sunshine.
She tries a few of Gela's usual haunts, in no rush. (She could always use the sending crystal if it was time-sensitive.) Given the autumn weather, Cosima may even be keeping her fingers crossed to find Gela outdoors where they can talk in the sunshine.
Yes, she will find Gela there. Tav is the one who tends the gardens most carefully, and while Gela knows that he uses magic for most of this, she still likes to put in a bit in weeding here and there by hand. She is, in fact, crouched by one of the beds now, carefully pulling out dandelions and chickweed, and laying them on a handkerchief in a row. The bright yellow dandelion heads make this arrangement seem quite cheerful.
She is humming to herself while she works and occasionally telling the plant she is weeding some platitude or encouragement, a "There you go," as she pulls something up, or a more frustrated, "Oh come now," to anything being stubborn.
She is humming to herself while she works and occasionally telling the plant she is weeding some platitude or encouragement, a "There you go," as she pulls something up, or a more frustrated, "Oh come now," to anything being stubborn.
"Hey," she says when close enough not to have to raise her voice but (hopefully) not so close Gela's startled. "You need another pair of hands? I'm not very green-thumbed, but I take direction OK." She comes to crouch nearby, evaluating the partly weeded bed.
"Yes, always," is a cheerful response, accompanied by a gesture to come crouch near to Gela that only flicks a bit of dirt in Cosima's direction. "The direction is: you pull whatever isn't this," the plants in rows, "up. And put them here, if you don't mind, because the duck will have them.
"How are you?"
"How are you?"
We're fortunate to have you. I daresay our scholars and soldiers own a deal less experience than even that. [ but: ] Do you think you'll return to it?
Edited (Same icon apparently?) 2024-10-10 11:46 (UTC)
A perfectly equitable division of labor, I think! I can have a suite of pitches ready in... oh, probably two weeks? Maybe a month? Depending on how aggressive we want to be about resolving this.
[ ness would like to be Very Aggressive, but she won't hold gela to her standards. ]
[ ness would like to be Very Aggressive, but she won't hold gela to her standards. ]
Cosima takes a good look at the plant, determined to avoid accidentally pulling up anything that should stay, and then settles down into a full seat, opting to scoot when she needs to.
"I'm okay. You know, always too much to do, but we've got a lot of enthusiasm from some of the new faces, it's nice to see. How are you, these days?"
"I'm okay. You know, always too much to do, but we've got a lot of enthusiasm from some of the new faces, it's nice to see. How are you, these days?"
"We do," she agrees, turning to the next patch of weeds, plucking carefully. "I've been speaking with Ennaris about reinstating our paper supplies; we're going to work on it together." She tucks her hair behind her ear.
"Fine. Busy, like you, and a bit tired but nothing too dire."
"Fine. Busy, like you, and a bit tired but nothing too dire."
Perhaps he'd consider hiring you on. If you could stand to be bossed about – I understand younger brothers often due a bit of revenge.
"You know, given Riftwatch, a bit tired isn't too bad." Probably a baseline for most of them, most of the time. But though her initial response is light, the next part is slightly less so. Not over-solicitous, but sincere.
"I actually wanted to ... we don't have to talk about it out here, if you don't want. But I wanted to check in with you about the medical condition you shared with me a while back." She glances over at Gela, up from where she'd been looking at the plants. "I know I should have been more diligent, and I'm sorry about that, it was. It's been kind of a hell of a year for you and me both, I think." What with the demons, and the attack on Kirkwall, and on and on.
"I actually wanted to ... we don't have to talk about it out here, if you don't want. But I wanted to check in with you about the medical condition you shared with me a while back." She glances over at Gela, up from where she'd been looking at the plants. "I know I should have been more diligent, and I'm sorry about that, it was. It's been kind of a hell of a year for you and me both, I think." What with the demons, and the attack on Kirkwall, and on and on.
"Oh," Gela says, in a little rush and with a smile. She isn't looking at Cosima, but continues on her patch of weeds, gently pulling one out slow so that its long, spidery roots dangle and drop soil. Some of them have been well established; this work should happen more often. "And here I thought you wanted to garden with me.
"It has been a difficult year." The demons, the attack on Kirkwall. When was Granitefell, was that a year ago or even longer? The last time she saw Jude. "I don't mind that you haven't been diligent. I don't have much to share — nothing has happened. Not even after everything." Her brow furrows for a moment. Her smile slips. She confesses, quiet, "That's what I don't understand."
"It has been a difficult year." The demons, the attack on Kirkwall. When was Granitefell, was that a year ago or even longer? The last time she saw Jude. "I don't mind that you haven't been diligent. I don't have much to share — nothing has happened. Not even after everything." Her brow furrows for a moment. Her smile slips. She confesses, quiet, "That's what I don't understand."
"I do also want to spend time with you, for what it's worth," a hair softer. "Just ... multitasking, you know." She's aware of how thin she's stretched, and how it's meant neglecting friendships or potential friendships she might have nurtured before she got the big job.
Still. Focus. "I mean, I'm happy to hear that for your sake, but it does seem ... I can't imagine your condition is stress-triggered, if nothing has happened for that long." She'd seen the state of the four abductees in the infirmary after they returned, for one thing. "What do you think it means? That nothing has happened."
Still. Focus. "I mean, I'm happy to hear that for your sake, but it does seem ... I can't imagine your condition is stress-triggered, if nothing has happened for that long." She'd seen the state of the four abductees in the infirmary after they returned, for one thing. "What do you think it means? That nothing has happened."
An elder sister – [ which must explain whose side he's on ] – And two brothers when I left, so I trust she didn't go without servants.
She drops her hand onto Cosima's, squeezing once in apology before she takes it back again. "I know." Sometimes the job has to come first.
But to get to it, sitting back on her heels, she sighs. Rubbing her cheek accidentally leaves a smudge of dirt on her skin near her nose. "I'm not sure. It's been four years now and I haven't... It hasn't ever happened again. It's good, of course, I don't want it to happen again, but I feel like I'm waiting for it. Like I can't relax."
It never goes away.
But to get to it, sitting back on her heels, she sighs. Rubbing her cheek accidentally leaves a smudge of dirt on her skin near her nose. "I'm not sure. It's been four years now and I haven't... It hasn't ever happened again. It's good, of course, I don't want it to happen again, but I feel like I'm waiting for it. Like I can't relax."
It never goes away.
Edited (fact CHECKED) 2024-11-08 10:06 (UTC)
She nods, sitting back on her heels for a moment. "I get that, for sure. Four years is a while, and you've certainly been through a lot of extreme stress in that time. Do you remember any particular trigger, from before?"
The two commonly known triggers from Cosima's home world clearly aren't in play, at least. But it's certainly not an area where she admits to expertise, even after looking into it some following their earlier conversation on the topic. So: Work the problem.
The two commonly known triggers from Cosima's home world clearly aren't in play, at least. But it's certainly not an area where she admits to expertise, even after looking into it some following their earlier conversation on the topic. So: Work the problem.
"... No," she says, voice lowering. They're sitting near to each other here outside and she can afford — has to — be quieter. "I've only turned once, when it happened for the first time. Not since. I think I told you that but I don't think I ever fully explained the situation to you."
She is being coy. Gela knows she didn't say a word past what she had to at the time, in Cosima's office. She is staring at the ground, the bit of weed she was supposed to be pulling. "I'm... ready to, if you think it will help."
She is being coy. Gela knows she didn't say a word past what she had to at the time, in Cosima's office. She is staring at the ground, the bit of weed she was supposed to be pulling. "I'm... ready to, if you think it will help."
"Hard to know, but it very well could. I don't want to press you, but if you're ready to talk about it... I'd be honored for you to trust me with that." She shifts from sitting on her heels to cross-legged on the ground, suggesting less of a propensity to get up or move away. "And if we can put your mind at ease or just give you a better idea of how it works, I want that for you."
"Yes." It's an odd space to tell the whole story in and in the same way almost perfect, because Gela has something to do with her hands while she talks; she sinks them both into the dirt in earnest now and begins to scoop a weed out, collecting roots with the dirt and sifting them out with her fingers.
"Okay." Okay. Her voice is still quiet, mostly steady. "The first time — the only time I've ever turned, it was against my will. Somebody from the Mortalitasi changed me into one using magic and I don't really know why." They talked to her about it that day they brought her back into herself but everything was blurred and so confusing. She doesn't remember it well: only the taste of blood in her mouth and an urge to run. "But I was stuck that way for a long time. And I wasn't myself, I had no control."
She's pulled up some plant with the weed. Hastily she untangles, pushes the plant back down into the spot where it was and cups dirt around it, tamps it back down. "There were others. I wasn't the only one he experimented with. I think there was," she shuts her eyes tight suddenly, "Three or maybe four."
"Okay." Okay. Her voice is still quiet, mostly steady. "The first time — the only time I've ever turned, it was against my will. Somebody from the Mortalitasi changed me into one using magic and I don't really know why." They talked to her about it that day they brought her back into herself but everything was blurred and so confusing. She doesn't remember it well: only the taste of blood in her mouth and an urge to run. "But I was stuck that way for a long time. And I wasn't myself, I had no control."
She's pulled up some plant with the weed. Hastily she untangles, pushes the plant back down into the spot where it was and cups dirt around it, tamps it back down. "There were others. I wasn't the only one he experimented with. I think there was," she shuts her eyes tight suddenly, "Three or maybe four."
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