[ This is a bit overdue. But, well...better late than never? ]
I've been remiss in not yet offering you my condolences over taking on leadership of Diplomacy. Oh, sorry - I meant congratulations. Dreadful slip of the tongue.
[ Despite his flippancy, his voice is reasonably warm. This overture is made with kindness, even if Byerly by his nature isn't particularly adept at expressing that particular sentiment. ]
(She is new to this, to being in charge of something at this level. Before Riftwatch she looked at fabric and turned that into numbers, coins, trade deals — now she's got people to be responsible for, lives and homes, wellbeing, public image. Gela thinks she can do it but that doesn't mean it isn't stressful.
It’s that this work will crush your heart, if you let it.
[ His tone is wry, even if the words are grim. ]
You’ll never feel as though you can do enough or be enough. Because there will always be people you might have helped, but didn’t. The curse of having just a bit of power - you end up having to choose who gets saved. And the choice you didn’t make may break your heart.
(Gela nods even though he can't see it, or her sitting in her office with the crystal in her palm, her chin in her other hand, the way she cradles the weight of her head when it dips. He can't see her expression crease when she thinks, inevitably, of home.) I understand.
But I think I've felt that way ever since I joined Riftwatch — maybe even before that. So it won't come as a surprise. (One way or another, people will always break your heart.)
[ But that’s not helpful; it’s just glib. More truthfully: ]
But what helped was I found someone to love, who loved me. When I felt like I was on the brink of madness, or about to strangle one of my colleagues, or like I was doing more harm than good, he’d talk me down.
[ Ah. He has a few guesses as to the origin of that sudden false cheer. But it's rather gauche to ask did you lose your love, or are you simply lonely?
Despite his twinge of sorrow for her, though, he keeps his own voice light. ]
Fortunately, it's not a requirement that you be madly in love with the person who keeps you sane. All that you truly need is trust.
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I've been remiss in not yet offering you my condolences over taking on leadership of Diplomacy. Oh, sorry - I meant congratulations. Dreadful slip of the tongue.
[ Despite his flippancy, his voice is reasonably warm. This overture is made with kindness, even if Byerly by his nature isn't particularly adept at expressing that particular sentiment. ]
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She huffs a little laugh.)
Thank you. Do you — I've been wondering if you have any advice you'd like to give me about it.
... Or any warnings?
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[ He’s charmed. ]
No advice. I think you’ll show quite a bit more wisdom than I ever did. I think you already have.
[ A bit less playfully: ]
One warning, though.
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(She is new to this, to being in charge of something at this level. Before Riftwatch she looked at fabric and turned that into numbers, coins, trade deals — now she's got people to be responsible for, lives and homes, wellbeing, public image. Gela thinks she can do it but that doesn't mean it isn't stressful.
She pauses.)
Go ahead.
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[ His tone is wry, even if the words are grim. ]
You’ll never feel as though you can do enough or be enough. Because there will always be people you might have helped, but didn’t. The curse of having just a bit of power - you end up having to choose who gets saved. And the choice you didn’t make may break your heart.
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But I think I've felt that way ever since I joined Riftwatch — maybe even before that. So it won't come as a surprise. (One way or another, people will always break your heart.)
How did you cope?
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[ But that’s not helpful; it’s just glib. More truthfully: ]
But what helped was I found someone to love, who loved me. When I felt like I was on the brink of madness, or about to strangle one of my colleagues, or like I was doing more harm than good, he’d talk me down.
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That's sweet. I'm glad you had that.
I suppose I'd better get moving, then — I've come into the job unprepared!
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Despite his twinge of sorrow for her, though, he keeps his own voice light. ]
Fortunately, it's not a requirement that you be madly in love with the person who keeps you sane. All that you truly need is trust.
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(She lets go of a breath.)
Thank you.
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That makes me sound so old!
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Good! You're too fresh-faced. You could use the help.
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You can call me Gela. Gela is fine.
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Except for when I want something out of you.